My heart.

After 16 years you still make it skip a beat. This picture makes me feel so happy and safe.

worry...

Philippians 4:6-7

6Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. 7Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.


Why do I worry so? Why do I worry that my teenagers are going to go off the deep end? Why do I worry, THEN talk to a gazillion people about it, THEN decide to pray? When will I learn to pray first? When will I learn to be bold and expectant in my prayers, Ashlee Liddell?

When?...when?...when?

Wow

Romans 12 (The Message)

Place Your Life Before God

1So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life--your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life--and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. 2Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

3I'm speaking to you out of deep gratitude for all that God has given me, and especially as I have responsibilities in relation to you. Living then, as every one of you does, in pure grace, it's important that you not misinterpret yourselves as people who are bringing this goodness to God. No, God brings it all to you. The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him.

4In this way we are like the various parts of a human body. Each part gets its meaning from the body as a whole, not the other way around. 5The body we're talking about is Christ's body of chosen people. Each of us finds our meaning and function as a part of his body. But as a chopped-off finger or cut-off toe we wouldn't amount to much, would we? So since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellently formed and marvelously functioning parts in Christ's body, 6let's just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren't.

If you preach, just preach God's Message, nothing else; 7if you help, just help, don't take over; if you teach, stick to your teaching; 8if you give encouraging guidance, be careful that you don't get bossy; if you're put in charge, don't manipulate; if you're called to give aid to people in distress, keep your eyes open and be quick to respond; if you work with the disadvantaged, don't let yourself get irritated with them or depressed by them. Keep a smile on your face. 9Love from the center of who you are; don't fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. 10Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.

11Don't burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, 12cheerfully expectant. Don't quit in hard times; pray all the harder. 13Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality.

14Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath. 15Laugh with your happy friends when they're happy; share tears when they're down. 16Get along with each other; don't be stuck-up. Make friends with nobodies; don't be the great somebody.

17Don't hit back; discover beauty in everyone. 18If you've got it in you, get along with everybody. 19Don't insist on getting even; that's not for you to do. "I'll do the judging," says God. "I'll take care of it."

20Our Scriptures tell us that if you see your enemy hungry, go buy that person lunch, or if he's thirsty, get him a drink. Your generosity will surprise him with goodness. 21Don't let evil get the best of you; get the best of evil by doing good.

MelMel

2/22

Now it's Melanie's turn!!! 9 years old today. :o)

So let me tell you about our Mel. Melanie loves Jesus, her family, her friends, cheerleading, Hillary Duff, school, riding her bike, makeup, icecream, anything pink, talking on the phone, her daddy, and reading. She is a self-proclaimed girly girl. But the thing I like most about her is that she has such a servant's heart. She genuinely cares for others, wants to help them. I want to be like her when I grow up!

My girl.

Happy birthday to you!

10 Things...

Ten Things That I Love

• Strong Coffee
  
• Bible Time with the fam every morning
  
• A clean kitchen
  
• Warm Vanilla Sugar from B&BW
  
• FreddyBenjaminHollyMelanieJoey (they count as 1)
  
• Yellow Tail Shiraz
  
• God's provision
  
• The smell of patchouli
  
• Dating my man
  
• Pennsylvania at Thanksgiving
  

Ten Things I Don't Like Very Much

• Mondays
• Unloading the dishwasher
• Big crowds
  
• Talking on the phone
  
• Laundry for 6
• Feeling restless
• When someone wrongs my man or my kids
• WHINING
  
• hm...I could only come up with 8.
  

Does that mean that I'm a 'glass-is-half-full' kinda girl? I hope so. I'm tired of having so many negative feelings. I want to make it a habit of focusing on God's blessings for me. No matter how big or how small.

Saturday Night Fun

No...I'm not having a night like laurabeadle had last night.

I'm watching my husband tell the kids to stand across the room while he tries to throw honey-nut cheerios in their mouths.

They're also playing "Commercial Simon Says". That's Simon Says when commercials come on--we're watching the Olympics.

Now Freddy just decided to shave his beard so Melly can give him a facial.

I love my family.

Erin Marie Elliott

Erin Elliott
November 25, 1974-October 27, 2005

That's me on the left and my beautiful little sister on the right. It is the most recent picture I have of her and my talented husband photoshopped us together.

We got her autopsy report back today. Finally. "Acute Multidrug Toxicity".

Oxycodone(Percocet/Percodan)--a central nervous system depressant
Hydromorphone(Dilaudid)--used to relieve moderate to severe pain
Propoxyphene(Darvon)--used to relieve moderate to severe pain

None of these drugs should be taken together or be prescribed to someone with a history of drug/alcohol abuse. My sister, as most drug addicts do, doctor shopped and found the ones that would prescribe these for her.

My sister is the face of addiction. I used to think addicts were smelly, toothless, strung out people. I was wrong. Erin was beautiful, smart, talented, bilingual, and funny as anything!! She went to work everyday...loved her job as a kindergarten teacher. She just felt like she had to numb herself. What demons were you fighting, Boo?

Getting the report back today has flooded me with the same feelings I had when I got "the call" from my dad telling me she was dead. It's bizarre--I so want to pick up the phone and yell at her--knock some sense into her. DON'T DO THIS ANYMORE, BOO!! WE LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT!! DON'T DO THIS TO US!!

But I can't. I don't even know if I will see her again. I know she loved Jesus, lived for Him fully for a long, long time. But something happened. She loved Jesus 'til the day she died, but was not living it.

What does God's Word say about that? Can an addict also be a believer? She was also living with her boyfriend, who is a VERY nice guy. She knew it was wrong. We talked about it often. If you are living in deliberate sin, what happens when you die? I want to know!! Even if it's not what I want to hear, I still I want to know.

what the...?!?

What is this world coming to???

So I'm shopping in Kroger earlier today. There were many more men in there than usual. They all looked very stressed as they were mulling thru what was left of the Valentine goodies...but that's not my point...

I'm going thru the aisles, singing along mindlessly with the song playing over the Kroger speakers and I realize, "Oh my goodness...they're playing Def Leppard!!!" Def Leppard in KROGER!!! I busted out laughing right then and there!

DEF LEPPARD!!!

Sundays

I hate Sunday mornings.

I hate that I hate them.

I don't know what's happened, but I really don't look forward to going to church anymore. I always learn something when I go...I love singing and worshipping thru song...I love seeing the people that I love there, but I would much rather sleep in and spend time with my family. There's never enough time to just 'be'. Sometimes I think if we had 3 day weekends and 4 day work/school weeks it would be a lot easier. Like that'll happen.

What kind of example is this for my kids?

Please pray for me.

My Baby

My baby turned 7 today. Not a baby anymore really.

Joey is so full of life! He loves Jesus, his family, his teachers, his friends, his schoolwork, tv, riding bikes, shooting his bb gun, baseball, and mashed potatoes.

Happy Birthday, my big boy. Mama loves you!

This is the last 7th birthday we'll ever celebrate....sigh....

3rd graders

In the spirit of my Laura Beadle, I feel compelled to blog twice in one day!

I subbed in 3rd grade today while the teachers went to a student's funeral. I have subbed for that class before, but didn't know what to expect today--the day their friend's earthly body was being buried.........I walk in the classroom and their amazing Bible teacher has them up on their feet, singing praises to the Almighty.

Joy. In the midst of an unthinkable tragedy they had joy.

While lifting their heavenly voices one of the girls shoes came untied. Another little girl (I'm not naming any names, but I gave birth to her almost 9 years ago!) noticed it was untied and bent down to tie it for her, even though her friend knows how to tie her own shoes.

Servanthood.

When it was time to do seatwork one of the students realized she had forgotten her pencil. Her friend let her borrow her 'good' pencil. She kept the short, stubby one for herself.

Servanthood again.

I could go on and on. They spontaneously help each other. Kindness is second nature to them while I have to work hard at being nice.

And Jesus said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."

FREEDOM

Freedom...I have the Hebrew word for 'Freedom in Christ' tattooed on my body. I did it a few years ago to remind myself of the freedom that I have as a believer. I still struggle with this concept even today. Growing up in my home I was always told what I CAN'T do..."Don't do this, don't do that, Baptists don't live that way, blah blah blah". It's hard to let go of those strongholds, I confess. But everytime I look at my wrist I am reminded...

2Corinthians 3:17
"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom."

Hebrews 7:18-19
"The former regulation is set aside because it was weak and useless (for the law made nothing perfect), and a better hope is introduced, by which we draw near to God."

John 8:36
"So if the Son has set you free, you will be free indeed."

1Corinthians 10:29
"For why should my freedom be judged by another's conscience?"

Revelation 1:5-6
"To him who loves us and has freed us from our sins by his blood, and has made us to be a kingdom and priests to serve his God and Father--to him be glory and power forever and ever! Amen."